Why Shawn Harris is Hot

1. Ladies and Gents, say hello to Shawn Harris, who, up until recently was the lead singer and guitarist of The Matches (and we all know how we feel about those lead singers). But with their indefinite hiatus, Shawn has moved on to a new singing venture called Maniac, who, while working on their first album, has been covering Number 1 Billboard hits. Try not to swoon and melt too much while he’s singing Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me”, m’kay?

2. Style? The man is the dictionary definition of dapper. Voted the best dressed on Warped Tour ’07, the man can pull off any look you throw at him. Torn up punk? Check. The sophisticated top hat look? You got it. Polka Dots and Stripes? Done and done. Asymmetrical haircuts, short haircuts, fake glasses? He’s done it all. Even as Count Drunkula, the man is hot sex.

3. His eyes. Just take a good, long look into those lovely brown eyes. You can get lost within them. Now, tell me you’re not hooked.

4. Sweet, mischievous and sometimes a little deranged, his smile is a sight to behold. Show me your teeth, babe.

5. His arms are rather fit. Toned with just the right amount of muscle. Who else wants tickets the gun show?

an open letter to a fanbase.

I’ve been a Creature Feature fan for nearly two years. When I first saw them open for Schoolyard Heroes and The Birthday Massacre on January 24^th, 2009, I knew it was love. Right then and there, I bought a hoodie and The Greatest Show Unearthed and when I got home, I listened to it on repeat into the small hours of the night. I told everyone I came into contact with to listen to them as soon as humanly possible. The next time I saw them, I actually got to meet and talk to the two of them and although I was nervous and probably acting like a complete moron, they were nicer than I could’ve imagined, a fact that made me love them even more.

To state the obvious, I am a huge fanghoul. I’ve been called the biggest fanghoul on the East Coast. Delirium, for some reason, has called me the patron saint of fanghouls, which I find highly amusing and use from time to time. I post pictures of them daily on tumblr, I draw them often, I run the CF fanclub on deviantart (suchhorriblethings), I listen to their music at least twice a week (usually the album in its entirety), I wear their hoodie on a regular basis, etc, etc, etc. And yes, I have a very large crush on Curtis Rx (I mean, I did write why he’s hot). Quite frankly, you can see my crush from space. Putting his looks aside for the moment (because I could go on all day), the man is probably one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I think he’s a creative, multi-talented genius. I admire his ambition and the work he’s produced. His updates on his various websites and his sarcastic sense of humor never fail to make me smile. I’m very lucky to know him and the fact he knows who I am and talks to me frequently is more than I could ever ask for.

All of this said, I think there’s a big difference between having a crush on someone and wanting to drag someone to your crazy ass rape dungeon. The internet is a public place, children. Everyone can read the silly nonsense you say. And yeah, I’ve said my share of silly nonsense but the fact that you crazies specifically send this nonsense TO him boggles my mind further. It’s not cute/funny/amusing to be like “Curtis, I want you to impregnate me. Would you like me to come over and rape you or do you wanna send me your jizz in a cup? ” I shit you not. I cannot possibly make this up. It makes me queasy just typing it. I guess it’s been in the “attractive rock star job description” to be accosted by underage girls for a while now, but with the internet and all, it seems to have escalated to unholy proportions. And not all of this is coming from underage girls, so I don’t know which is worse, a 12-year-old saying this or a 25-year-old.

Now, I saw Curtrik coming because, as a MCR fan, I had seen every sort of band slash pairing imaginable. All I could say was, “Well, at least they’re not related, right…?” But God, I did not see M-preg or the sheer amount of it coming AT ALL. And yeah, if you’re not familiar with M-preg, it’s exactly what it sounds like. That’s deviantart for you, I suppose—fucking apeshit crazy. Once again, this is a case of “think before you touch the internet”. Not only did all of this happen, but a certain group of girls managed to write a Curtrik fanfic with not only the boys doing each other but one of my close friends getting raped by them. Again, I couldn’t make this up if I tried. There are certain lines you don’t cross; I believe that to be one of them.

Sometimes, I hear about the “golden days”, when the Creature Feature forum was new, small, close-knit community and I wish I could’ve been a part of that. Despite this, I’ve made quite a few wonderful friends through this band, kids I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’ve tried not to be the elitist bitch, but as the band keeps going, the fanbase is just getting younger/stupider and I can finally fully understand why the old school Chem fans gave me such shit in the beginning. So please forgive me, new CF fans, if I regard you with skepticism from now on. At this point, you gotta earn it.

TL:DR? The Creature Feature fanbase is beginning to scare me. I love their music and I’m incredibly excited for their sophomore album to finally be finished so they can come back to the East Coast but the people who are calling themselves CF fans now seriously need to calm themselves down before I get a chainsaw out.

Love and Zombies,
-Sami Cyanide.

extreme happy.

Creature Feature's stage clothes. Spread out on my bed.

There are no words.

We Claimed It First.

So I’m up.

And it’s turning out to be one of those days where I’ll listen to as many variations of “The Greatest Show Unearthed” as possible until I can’t take it anymore. I’m listening to the limited edition version right now, which isn’t that much different from the actual version except for the song order—I think the only reason I spot the differences at all is because I’m an obsessive freak.

Last night sucked something unbelievable. It took me forever to actually fall asleep, what with a fever and these kids in the hall screaming for vodka. I think I fell asleep for about 2 hours then woke up, got some water, and nearly fell down in the hallway from dizziness. This cold, man. Came out of fucking nowhere.

I probably have to eat soon and shower and start the homework I’ve neglected to do but right now, I just wanna listen to “The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth” then go back to sleep.

This.

happy to have you back.

Halloween.

I m Sam. Sam I Am.
For Halloween at least.

I had the best dream ever last night. It was bizarre but really perfect. I doubt that will happen again but one can only hope. I wish the feelings were there in real life...

-Cyanide

Why Curtis RX is Hot (for tumblr.)

1. He’s unconventionally attractive. He’s got this dark, things-that-go-bump-in-the-night sort of sexy to him. You usually don’t see “full blown muttonchops” on the list of things girls drop their pants to, but when he looks this good rocking them, you might wanna revise that list. Move over, scruff- sideburns are the next big thing and Curtis Rx is the mastermind behind it.

2. He’s the singer and guitarist for Creature Feature, a band that sounds like Halloween every day. How awesome is that? And anyone who can sing about cannibalism, zombies, and being buried alive while looking and sounding absolutely gorgeous at the same time has to have some serious skills and a few screws loose. But who doesn’t like a guy who’s a little unhinged? Oh, and while playing guitar, he can do this. BAM. Jizz time.

3. At 6’3”, the man is one very tall drink of water. And his legs go on for days in those perfectly fitted pinstripe pants that just make them look even longer. Mmm, mmm, good.

4. His sleeve is brilliant. It’s huge, which means the man knows how to take some pain but it’s also intricate and it makes you want to run your fingertips all over those purple ink vines that wrap around the deliciously pale skin of his arm from his wrist all the way to his shoulder.

5. He’s a complete dork and makes no apologies for it. The guy writes songs about horror movies for a living and covers songs from old-school video games. He carries the biggest fanboy torch for Bruce Campbell. He knows the secret Contra code for 30 extra lives. There’s so much more to add to his dork list but he embraces all of it with pride and an irresistible smile.